Proverbs Devotion - Day 22

Proverbs 22:6 is a well known verse. If you are a parent at any stage, it may be a great encouragement of the faithfulness of God or you may question where you went wrong. This verse has caused many parents to cling to these words and pray them over a prodigal child who currently shows no signs of returning. 

While it is impossible to address every situation and circumstance, I want to take some time to consider this devotion, what it says, what it means, and the ultimate hope that parents can cling to, no matter the situation. 

First, as a reminder: this is a Proverb. Which means we should see it as a best practice, not a guarantee. This can be where a parent can feel shame because of how their child turns out. They may raise them in church, teach them right from wrong, do their best to be a godly parent, and yet the child lives their life as if God does not exist. This can be a heavy burden and weight that many parents can carry. But I want to say to those who children have grown, take heart. Your responsibility is to train or instruct your children in how they should go. Once they are on their own, it is now between them and the Lord. You did your job, by God’s grace. No parent is perfect and no child comes with an owner’s manual. Shame and guilt has no part in the life of a follower of Jesus. If you carry this burden, take it to the Lord and allow Him to remove it through the blood of Jesus. He died to set you free from shame and guilt. Take this burden to him today to both remove your guilt or shame and place your child’s life in his hands. He is the only one who can truly change a heart. Put it in His good and able hands. 

To parents of children still at home, one of the biggest goals of parenting can be behavior modification. Let’s be honest: children are selfish, have terrible manners, liars, and just downright mean sometimes. Parents, can I get an amen? I’m only half serious. Because of bad behavior that is exhibited, the focus can be to fix the behavior. This is bad, don’t do that. I am not saying discipline is bad, we are told to do so in this very same chapter (22:15). But what I want us to consider is not just behavior modification, but rather getting to the cause: their heart. What if parenting was more about who a child is becoming instead of just being “good”?

So I want to encourage parents today: parent as a shepherd, not a schoolmaster. Here’s what I mean by that. Look back at the verse. The verse says train or instruct a child in “the way he should go.” Teaching a child right and correcting wrong behavior is part of parenting. However, the ultimate goal shouldn’t be a well-behaved pagan. Schoolmasters can create that. Scared children who do the right thing so they aren’t punished. 

No amount of discipline, punishment, or grounding will break the grip of sin nature has. Your child doesn’t need better manners, but rather a new heart. The only One who can create that is Jesus, not you. So, they need a shepherd who leads them to Jesus. Teach them about who Jesus is, teach them about the gospel, teach them about forgiveness, teach them about living a godly life to honor God. Mom and dad: ultimately you need to teach your child to love Jesus more than he or she loves you. Because they'll honor you as a result too. But the opposite is not always true.

So they need you to shepherd: both in your instruction but also your own walk with Jesus. Don’t expect them to respond like Jesus if you don’t. Remember: you are first a sheep of Jesus (sometimes a dumb one, right?) and a child of God. You need grace, you need strength, you need forgiveness, and sometimes discipline because you are a sinner yourself. So begin with prayer asking your Heavenly Father to help you as His imperfect child. 

Then, lead your children to know Jesus and to follow him, by God's grace. Your wisdom is not in a method of discipline or parenting, it’s a Person. In John 14:6, Jesus called himself “the way”. The hope for your child is that they follow the Way, Jesus himself.

That instruction doesn’t begin in the church, it begins in your home. Raise them, train them, instruct them and model for them the Way of Christ and the gospel. Then pray, pray, pray every day for God to change their heart by His grace. If He does, then he or she will never depart because Philippians 1:6 says that "he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." It is then Jesus who keeps them from departing (John 6:39). If God grants this, give gratitude to the Father who truly made it true for your child. No matter how “great” of a parent you may be, it was truly all Him!